This strip presents us with some “mathematics” which we’re to assume is intentionally ridiculous for the sake of comedy, but since I know myself better than you do, I can tell you the ludicrousness of the math wasn’t the intended joke so much as was the long-windedness of the mathematician. The sketchy and loose math had more to do with my own complete and total lack of understanding of math, so in the spirit of taking these strips more seriously than necessary, let’s deconstruct the presented equation and try to find the real answer.

First and foremost, 2000,100,562 isn’t properly formatted. It translates roughly to two billion, one hundred thousand, five hundred sixty two, or 2,000,100,562. The square root of 556,569 translates roughly to 746.0355219424877, so we’ll round that down to 746 for the sake of sanity. Pi is infinite, so we’ll just use the first few digits (3.14.) The square root of 7 approximates to 2.6457513110645907, which again we’ll round down for the sake of sanity to around 2.64. The amount of times Dr. Contrivance defecates on a statue is an unknown variable, so for the sake of argument we’ll assume it’s 4. There are 8 Deceptions in the original Michael Bay Transformers film, and contrary to what this comic suggests, the Map repeats the only lyric in his song around 9 times. The resulting operation hashes out to

2,000,100,562 X 746 / 3.14 + 800,000,000 X 2 - 2.64 / 4 - 8 / 9.

The end result hashes out roughly to


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